Preparing for Marriage

 Hello Everyone!

I hope everyone is doing okay and staying healthy! I am really excited about this week's topic because I feel it is something that most of us have people around us who have gone through marriage or it could be that even yourself are preparing for marriage. This week in my Family Relation class we talked about Preparing for Marriage. As always I just want to do a friendly reminder on how all of us have different perspectives and could learn from each other if we give the time to listen to what others need to say. Something interesting related to that is that this week I learn that sometimes when we do not agree with other people's opinions we can agree to disagree. Agree to disagree does not mean that the other person's opinion does not matter but it means we are mature enough to understand that we won't agree on everything and is okay. We are all different in many senses and that makes us unique.

Speaking of unique and relating it to what I learned this week it is interesting to think about generations and how everything changes according to the times that we get to live. Marriage preparation was different a few years ago or a generation before mine. As I was in class this week we were asked how or what differences we see in my grandparent's preparation of marriage to what we see nowadays. This was such an interesting question because I love talking to my grandmother about the differences, she sees in nowadays generation to back in her days. I was commenting to my classmates how back in my grandmother's times in our country the marriage preparation was dependent on the socioeconomic status of the groom and bride. My grandmother likes telling her grandchildren stories telling how everything has changed one time she shared that before if people had money, they would offer a ring to the person they wanted to marry. If the person could not afford to buy a ring due to the socioeconomic status, then the couple would just get married without the engagement phase that we see nowadays.

I think of generation and how that has been changing and I believe part of it as we discussed it in class has to be with social media. Social media has its pros and cons but overall it is a platform that allows you to share part of your life with your contacts or friends. Nowadays I see more people in my timeline getting engaged and there is always a ring on the girl's finger. I think a big part of how things have been changing also has to be with the fact that more people are afraid of what others would think of themselves and the market is aware of it and has given an interesting change on affordable rings for example. Now I see a couple with plastic wedding bands, and it is completely normal and to the extent of some people even cuter than having an expensive ring with a big diamond. 

Marriage preparation also has a lot to be with the dating process. Dating can be so diverse and different according to where you were raised, principles, and values your parents taught you. In my own experience coming from a different country than the United States, dating has been an interesting experience because it is different than what I used to. I feel dating in my own country is more about being friends and not label the times we go out as "dates," but more about enjoying the time we are spending together as friends and it does not mean that one of us has been a friend zone. Whereas in the United States the dating starts with either the girl or boy asking him/her out and get to know each other more which to my perspective is nothing bad but I think it can be a little bit devastating for either the guy or girl if at the end of the date some of them think everything turns out well and they will be what is called a second date and the other person did not think the same. I like thinking that dating is more about getting to know each other as friends and go from there. There is something good about getting to know someone as friends and be able to be who you really are and be able to trust someone and then realize that you both have shared feelings which allows you to give a step further to start a relationship. I am sure everyone is different, and it also has to be with cultures as I mentioned before. 

Remember everyone is different and relationships as well. Marriage preparation is something that takes time and as it was different back in my grandmothers’ days and in my generation, it could be different in a couple of more years. If you made it here, thank you for taking the time to read. 

 

Have a great week,

 

Nahomy S